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| Tuesday, February 7th, 2006 | | 2:20 am |
| | 1:45 am |
More idle chatter...
So, today was a little bizarre. I know I'm a bit superstitious, but when i woke up this morning, it was 66 degrees in my apartment. ok, no big deal. Then I order my cap and gown, and the total is $66.60. That's when I knew it was gonna be one of those days. (Found out later, though, that my total was actually $66.65, slightly better) Sure enough, my mind started to wander and I started to overthink. Came home, fell asleep in the floor for a couple hours -- took care of the wandering mind problem. Woke up and started cleaning up and stuff, and randomly thought, "I miss Daddy" WHAT IN THE WORLD? Why am I missing my dad? the jerk who doesn't even care about me, doesn't know if I have enough money to eat or pay my bills, refuses to pay for my brother's tuition, doesn't pay for anything at all --- WHY am I missing HIM?? And I still can't shake the feeling totally. GRRR Then, went over to Michael and Rebecca's to work on some stuff for swing. We worked on stuff for awhile, then they started getting frustrated with each other -- like, borderline screaming at each other. That was fun. I felt INCREDIBLY awkward and uncomfortable, but eventually they worked through it, though they were still pretty tense. Then, all of a sudden, their roommate started screaming (her and her finacee had been working on their wedding invitations and stuff in the back rooms). It was screaming and crying, and then a super loud scream, a hard slap, and a hard thud into the wall. I have not been that scared in I don't know how long! Me and Michael and Rebecca just looked at each other -- we didn't know what to do or who had done the slapping and the thudding. Apparently, their roommate is bipolar, so Rebecca thinks that she slapped him and threw him into the wall. Either way, I wanted to get out of there!! With the combination of all of that, I really don't want to get married now (not that I have any prospects right now anyway). It stressed me out so much being there for that fight, I can't even imagine being in a situation like that for myself. Especially after living through everything my dad put us through. Ugh, I don't know -- it's just not worth it. | | Monday, January 30th, 2006 | | 3:09 am |
I need to vent!
Ok, why is it that I always have to be the responsible one? I mean, since I was little, it's been, "No Grace, you can't do that. just think of what so-and-so will think if you do." Why am I not allowed to just be "irresponsible" one time?! I mean, don't get me wrong, I love the whole "mom" thing, but honestly, you know why I love it? Because it was my only choice, my only answer when I was made fun of for it! "Oh Grace, yeah, she always brings EVERYTHING with her" as they roll their eyes. But then, two seconds later, as soon as they need something "Oh, Grace, you're always so prepared -- we always know we can come to you if we need anything! thank you SO much" Blah blah blah -- whatever! So, the one time in my life that I'm a tad bit less caring about what other people are perceiving me as -- someone says "OOH, Grace, just wait till I tell so-and-so what you're doing." THANKS! Thanks a lot! Actually, I've been getting that a lot lately. My decisions are never made without a great deal of thought --too much usually-- going into them, so I really don't care for people undermining those decisions and ridiculing them. Now, i know that I'm blowing this WAY out of proportion, but I needed to vent in general. My life has been so .... I don't even know what to say... ever since I came back from Ft Lauderdale last Sunday. I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that I have yet to get a real night's sleep in over two weeks, and that i've been eating totally unhealthy during that time as well, and that I have not touched my homework and the guilt from that is eating me alive, not to mention a few interesting run-ins, some of which were planned and others which weren't so much -- and the fact that I am overdue for a good long cry. I know this makes absolutely no sense, but it's what is running circles around the inside of my head right now and I needed to get it out. And the bad thing is, I feel like I still can't put exactly what I want to say down because I know someone will have a problem with it somehow -- and it's supposed to be a stinkin' journal!!!!! Agh! I'm having a "my life is temporarily screwed up and I want a quick way out" moment. Pray or something please, cause I sure feel like I can't, and someone needs to get me out of this somehow. I need a miracle, as cliche and stupid as it sounds -- and I would prefer it to not be in the form of Prozac or Zoloft. And, no, I'm not drunk. Current Mood:  how do you think? | | Thursday, January 12th, 2006 | | 5:21 pm |
| | Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 | | 3:21 am |
The Year in Review
Jan: Yeah!!!! I finally created an entry!!!! Feb: Amazing Grace......can't get away from it ;) Mar: __#1___ is the one that you love. Apr: They go in threes May: The Keys to Your Heart Jun: Jul: Aug: miami tickets Sep: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! !!!!!!!! Oct: Cheese Pizza Nov: You chose blue-green eyes. Dec: I just want to die! Hmmm, interesting. I found some really good posts that I'd forgotten about while i was looking for these. We should do one, too, where you just find your favorite posts from that month. Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: Waylon Jennings singing on an infomercial | | Sunday, December 11th, 2005 | | 8:01 pm |
BREATHE......
Ok, now that my thoughts have stopped running in circles somewhat, I think I'll post again. And since my past two posts haven't been very positive, well, here's one that's at least a little better. And I know Waverly always gets onto me about comparing how I feel and stuff to movies and songs, but, once again, this applies VERY well on many levels: Ever been misunderstood, misused, or misled Ever knocked on the sky and had it fall on your head well, don't worry 'bout it, don't worry Ever lost your luggage, your marbles, your house Or found yourself in bed with Uncle Sam or Mickey Mouse Ever been accused of murder on Music Row Or caught in morning traffic when you really gotta go - Oh no! Life is funny, life's a mess Sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing Don't worry 'bout a thing, don't worry 'bout it Life is sticky, life can bruise Sometimes you win sometimes your losing No matter what it brings Don't worry 'bout a thing Ever sat yourself down when the seat is all wet Or seen your "ex" sucking face with a little brunette Don't worry 'bout it, no don't worry Ever lost your religion, ever lost your best friend Or found your last record in the bargain bin Or been stuck in a divorce like crazy glue Or scraped someone else's gum off the bottom of your shoe - Boo hoo! We all got a little junk in the trunk And when you're feelin' good as sunk Remember, everything will be just fine If I laugh at yours then you'll laugh at mine Life is sticky, life can bruise Sometimes you win sometimes your losing No matter what it brings Don't worry 'bout a thing (thank you very much) Current Mood:  getting thereCurrent Music: that song, on repeat in my head | | Friday, December 9th, 2005 | | 9:21 pm |
I just want to die! This week has been CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!! and, no, I don't feel better now that I've said that! Life officially sucks and makes absolutely no sense. People don't either! If I could just get inside some peoples' head and just figure what on earth is going on in their thought procesess! Why do people do the things they do? Does ANYONE think before they act anymore? Does everyone just jump to the easiest answer without thinking it through? These are really just rhetorical questions -- I'm really not asking for any responses. Just, everyone who reads this, do me a favor -- please please please think things through before you make any major decisions, or for that matter, any minor decisions that other people might think are major ones!!! Current Mood: no words to describe itCurrent Music: the quartet this is playing for Seminole Stomp | | Sunday, November 27th, 2005 | | 3:02 am |
For those of you who know me....
And know me well, you know that the following words don't come out of my mouth very often: Today had to have been one of the SHITTIEST days! Of course, any day when you find out someone you know dies generally tends to be that way. So, there have now been two deaths that have affected me directly this year -- Papa died in February and I found out this morning that a guy that I've known practically ALL MY LIFE died in Iraq on Thanksgiving. Talk about starting a day off well. Then, to watch by far the crappiest game of the season in Gainesville... well, that's about as much as I can take. And I feel so weird about Marc dying. I mean, we weren't close, but I spend the first several years of my life growing up in the same daycare and Sunday school classes as him, and he was a year younger than me in school, but I mean, I cheered for him on the football team and passed him in the halls all the time! He was one of those people you always expected to see around, the kind you would go, "Hey! Long time no see! How've you been?" to, definitely not just one of those people that you kinda sorta know. The last time I saw him was when he had just enlisted about a year and a half ago. I remember talking to him for a second or two after church about joining, and that was it. My friend Forest back home talked to him the day before he died on IM. It's so weird that you never realize that life could change just like that until it does, then you wonder what happened. The one consolation is that he was almost certainly a Christian, and Heaven is most certainly better than Baghdad. Pray for his family! He has a little brother that's about 14 or 16 I think, and an older brother that's 24. Current Mood:  pensive | | Friday, November 11th, 2005 | | 7:03 pm |
| | Tuesday, November 1st, 2005 | | 11:47 pm |
Ur not evil at all.U haven't got it in you. Sweet and kind r ur middle names. How evil are you? brought to you by QuizillaI'm supposed to be doing my homework right now; and what am I doing instead? yup...... PROCRASTINATING | | 11:41 pm |
 You chose blue-green eyes. You are a very happy, hyper person. You love to laugh a lot with your friends, and you are loud in large crowds. Most of the time you're smiling, but inside, you have a slight low self esteem, and you try to cover it up with cheerfullness. You try to live life to the fullest. You also believe in all the supernatural things. Like in faeries, ghosts, aliens, etc...You like to keep your options open. You can sometimes be a bit bossy too, when people don't always like the same things you like. It makes you defensive. The Eye color personality test brought to you by QuizillaInteresting....... | | Sunday, October 16th, 2005 | | 2:12 am |
Just a thought....
After a very interesting day that was mostly a giant rollercoaster, the thing that stands out the most is probably the simplest thing of all -- floating through cypress trees on a canoe in a lake. The simple beauty of the trees combined with the water was just amazing. And I know that sounds dorky, but it was such a peaceful place to be, separated from the rest of the world, just floating. And I was only in among the trees for about 10 minutes, but it just stands out. Ok, I need to go to bed. This post has no real point. I'll just dream of my trees......... | | Thursday, October 6th, 2005 | | 3:27 am |
| | 3:23 am |
| Cheese Pizza | 
Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others. |
| | Friday, September 30th, 2005 | | 12:07 am |
<td align="center">You will be famous for writing a national bestseller
You are very observant and tend to be the wallflower at parties. You are intuitive and know just how to communicate everything that you are feeling to those around you.
Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td> | | Wednesday, September 14th, 2005 | | 3:43 am |
| | Monday, August 29th, 2005 | | 9:05 pm |
miami tickets
Anybody know how I can get ahold of a miami ticket? I have #1283 in line for the tickets, but I have a feeling they won't get past 300. Anybody have a lower number with space for more vouchers? | | Tuesday, May 17th, 2005 | | 12:42 am |
Your Political Profile
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Overall: 65% Conservative, 35% Liberal
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Social Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
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Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal
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Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
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Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal
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Defense and Crime: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal
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So, does this make me a socially conservative liberal? Or just a moderate conservative? I don't understand the ethics thing, though - I thought my ethics were fairly conservative. | | Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 | | 1:49 am |
| | 1:42 am |
ok, these things are stinking keeping me up
Your #1 Match: ENFJ
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The Giver
You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.
You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. |
Your #2 Match: ENTJ
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The Executive
You are a natural leader - with confidence and strength that inspires others.
Driven to succeed, you are always looking for ways to gain, power, knowledge, and expertise.
Sometimes you aren't the most considerate person, especially to those who are a bit slow.
You are not easily intimidated - and you have a commanding, awe-inspiring presence.
You would make a great CEO, entrepreneur, or consultant. |
Your #3 Match: ESFJ
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The Caregiver
You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.
You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher. |
Your #4 Match: ESTJ
|
The Guardian
You're a natural leader and quick, logical decision maker.
Goals are important in your life, and you take many steps to acheive them.
You enjoy interacting with others, mostly through work related activities.
Your high energy level means you are great at getting things done!
You would make a great teacher, judge, or police detective. |
Your #5 Match: INFJ
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The Protector
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher. |
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